Death and dying
"Maybe we're always breathing each other in, like the steam from a fresh cup of tea. The fragrance of those people who have meant something to us and are now absent, for whatever reason, still permeates."
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
There shouldn’t need to be a global pandemic to wake us up to the fact that we will all be leaving this world with neither clothes, care packages nor those that we love.
How to Live when the loved ones dies, It’s a spiritual teaching. Su Co Dang Nghiem in this talk refers to her own experience of death that can open us up to a whole other way of living. It can also keep the loved one who passed present in our loving.
Preparing for Death
The biggest effort of this principle of Life is to stay alive, even in death!
~ Jaques Derrida
The dying process is a natural time for physical, mental and spiritual cleansing. The ancient yogic teachings I study and practice, provide techniques through which to do so.The following are samples of what we can do:
- Clarify regrets, settle conflicts, establish care protocols, and set clear vision for ones environment during the process of letting go.
- Tie up loose ends in all important relationships.
- Receive ongoing emotional, mental and spiritual support.
- Create a support network in all necessary areas, including a core team of care.
- Clarify and secure all your wishes of how you would like your body to be cared for during and after death.
Price : $140/hr
Initial session is two hours. After the first session if the money would be the only obstacle to continue our work, the fees may be re-negotiated.
Vigil - Staying with the Body
According to the teaching of Osteopathy, Breath of Life is still passively moving through and around the body up to three days after our heart has stopped! Just as nails and hair keep growing for days, the fluids continue moving inside of the cellular consciousness, carrying the living awareness in them.
Similarly, according to the indigenous traditions of Tibet, the three days after death are considered the most vital to have a container of support wrapped in love and care to walk with us right through to the other side.
Wake Ceremonies in the Balkans, where I come from, as well as other regions like Ireland help the family to say their goodbyes and express mutual grieving.
Should you choose to have the Wake Ceremony after your death, I’ll be there to coordinate the event based on your wishes.
When my husband passed away from cancer in 2012, he had written in his will that he would like to have a Wake ceremony and for me to take care of it.
The Indigenous Tibetan Buddhist custom, which I respectfully practice, suggests leaving the body in a quiet space for three days. On the third day comes the planned ceremony.
After the nurse pronounced him dead, I called the funeral home and requested the coffin to be brought to our home. Then for three days, my chosen community of support made our home a sacred place of passing. We kept the doors of our home open 24/7 to allow visitors to quietly sit with the body.
On the third day I asked our Buddhist community leader, Susan Chapman, to perform a Ceremony for Passing called a “Sukhavati” – meditating on our intention that he be taken to the realm of Sukha, or Bliss.
When the ceremony ended with the burning of his photograph as a way of sending him off, we opened the floor to people’s stories, which brought tears, laughter, sadness and joy. Grief has many faces, and all are welcome.
The guests who walked through our home expressed their awe in “bringing death home”. While at first it may have felt unusual and uncomfortable, it soon became intimate, real, dignified and sacred.
WORKING HOURS AND CANCELLATION POLICY
My working hours are Mon-Fri 9-4p.m.
Please note that a minimum of two business days (48 hrs) notice, is required in writing (via e-mail), for changing or cancellation appointment, otherwise the full amount will be charged.
The cause of missing an appointment is of no consequence. If you give me less than 48 hours notice, and I succeed in finding someone to take your appointment, your fee will be waived. This policy is not punitive; it is to cushion me from the vicissitudes of your life.
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