Death and dying
"Maybe we're always breathing each other in, like the steam from a fresh cup of tea. The fragrance of those people who have meant something to us and are now absent, for whatever reason, still permeates."
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
There shouldn’t need to be a global pandemic to wake us up to the fact that we will all be leaving this world with neither clothes, care packages nor those that we love.
How to Live when the loved ones dies, It’s a spiritual teaching. Su Co Dang Nghiem in this talk refers to her own experience of death that can open us up to a whole other way of living. It can also keep the loved one who passed present in our loving.
The biggest effort of this principle of Life is to stay alive, even in death!
~ Jaques Derrida
The dying process is a natural time for physical, mental, and spiritual cleansing.
The ancient yogic and Buddhist teachings I study and practice provide techniques to support this journey. The following are examples of what we can do:
Clarify regrets, settle conflicts, establish care protocols, and set a clear vision for one’s environment during the process of letting go.
Tie up loose ends in all important relationships.
Receive ongoing emotional, mental, and spiritual support.
Create a support network in all necessary areas, including a core team of care ( CTC).
Clarify and secure your wishes for how you would like your body to be cared for during and after death.
Our partner in pre-planning and funeral services is Koru Funeral Services in Vancouver, a local, women-led care provider.
According to the science of Biodynamic Osteopathy, the breath of life (BOL) continues to move subtly through and around the body for up to three days after the heart has stopped. The body’s fluids, carrying the delicate breath of the cells, do not cease immediately. Much like a pipe that takes time to empty after the flow is halted, these fluids continue their gentle motion for a while, holding within them a trace of living awareness.
Similarly, in the indigenous traditions of Tibet, the three days following death are regarded as the most vital. It is believed that during this sacred window, the presence of a loving, supportive container helps guide and accompany the soul— in Buddhism called the mind of the deceased—as it journeys through the veil of death.
Balkans, where I come from, Ireland, the Philippines, Latin America, and West Africa are among the strongest living wake traditions today, though versions exist in many cultures worldwide.
Wake Ceremonies serve this very purpose: allowing families to gather, to say their goodbyes, and to share in grief and remembrance together.
Should you choose to have a Wake Ceremony after your passing, I would be honoured to help create and coordinate it, carrying out the event with deep respect and in accordance with your wishes.
MY STORY
When my husband passed away in 2012, he had requested a Wake Ceremony at home, and entrusted me to honor his wish.
Following my ancestral Balkan, and the Tibetan Buddhist tradition I respectfully practice, his body stayed in a quiet space for three days, allowing a sacred stillness to settle. Our home became a place of presence, with friends and loved ones quietly sitting, witnessing, and supporting the passage.
On the third day, our Buddhist community leader performed a Sukhavati Ceremony for Passing, meditating on guiding him to the realm of Sukha—Bliss. After the symbolic burning of his photograph, people shared stories, and the room filled with tears, laughter, sorrow, and joy.
Those who came later spoke of the awe in “bringing death home.” What began as unfamiliar and uncomfortable soon revealed itself as intimate, real, dignified, and profoundly sacred.
INSPIRATION: Psilocybin and Mystical Experience in Hospice Care, and Anthony Bossis, PhD.
Service Price: $155/hr. The first session is two hours, giving us time to connect and explore your needs. After that, if finances are the only barrier, we can discuss a personalized arrangement.
Working Hours & Cancellation Policy
My hours are Monday to Friday, 9 a.m. – 4 p.m. ( including all hollidays but Christmas).
Please provide at least 48 hours’ notice via email for rescheduling or cancellation. Otherwise, the full session fee will apply.
If notice is shorter than 48 hours but I can fill your appointment with someone else, your fee will be waived. This policy is not punitive; it is simply to help me manage my schedule while accommodating the ups and downs of life.
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